Feel Good Favorites: PART TWO

Good morning, beautiful reader! I hope you’re having a fabulous week or, if you’re not, that your week gets better each and every day. I now have an adorable baby nephew! Now I have six nieces and nephews, each as awesome as the next. It seems like both parents and kids are totally enamored with the little dude. My parents and I took some time to visit the bro’s cute family and helped them out with everything- hell, that many kids are a lot to handle! After hanging out with the youngin’s and fawning over the new kid, I feel a bit more refreshed. There’s just something so crazy and wonderful about holding a tiny human in your arms. And then the bonus of teeny cute hands holding onto your finger! *tries not to squeal*

Anyhoo, I’m back to finish up my list of what brings me joy, gives me life, and makes me feel damn good. Once again, these aren’t groundbreaking or revolutionary ideas, they’re just what have personally helped me. I hope they help you out in some way!

Keeping a reusable water bottle with you everywhere you go. Of course staying hydrated is hella good for the body and skin, but it also happens to do wonders on one’s mood. Sometimes when we feel grumpy for no real reason, the culprit is dehydration. I try to drink eight glasses of water a day, but it’s easy for me to forget and then I end up with a headache or just a lower mood. So far the most effective reminder to stay hydrated is to bring around a reusable water bottle- you’re being environmentally responsible (not picking up a new water bottle every time you go out) and being kinder to your mind and body.

Have a go-to playlist for lifting your spirits. I promise, it doesn’t matter if it’s Norwegian heavy metal or old-school folk music. Whatever music brings you the most joy- the swaying your hips and dancing around the house kind of joy- is what you should listen to. Music is an incredible and beautiful way to feed your soul, and of course singing and dancing can benefit your physical health. My current favorite songs are the entire Cry Baby album by Melanie Martinez. I’m a huge fan of hers and I freaking adore how each song in the album contributes to a specific story-line. Whatever sounds your heart desires, turn up you speakers and dance your (cute) ass off!

Lastly, learn about something new every day. I started doing this activity to help my brain stay sharp while I’m not in school and because I genuinely find great joy in learning. Watch a documentary on a topic you’re not well-versed on, read an in-depth article or book on a subject you find intriguing, or look up a tutorial on how to do something you’ve never done before. Even if your projects don’t turn out well or you end up not enjoying the video, it feels good to gain knowledge/a new skill; or just to know that you can cross one area of study off your list if you’re like me and still looking for your passion.

That’s all for today, internet buds. I hope this list inspired you to try some of these tips or find what works for you. I’m wishing you all luck in figuring out what best makes you feel good.

Tons of love and good vibes,

Violet XO

Feel Good Favorites ★☽ PART ONE

Good morning, loves. Sorry that I haven’t posted here in a while, my anxiety has been having a bit of fun with me lately and I just didn’t feel like writing. I nearly had a panic attack earlier this week for the first time in several months. On the upside, though, it was a powerful reminder to take care of myself to the best of my ability and show compassion towards others (because what’s the fun in loving yourself if you aren’t loving other people, too?). I’ve been doing my best to heal myself (medication of course included, I take it daily) and have found some things that seem to be working for me quite well. I hope my list gives you some inspiration on how to be good to yourself or simply serves as a reminder that you’re not alone on your journeys to self-love and personal growth. And for those of us recovering, I’d like to mention that no recovery is perfect; there will be relapses and mistakes and fuck-ups. That does not mean we failed. You can only fail if you don’t try again the next day!

1. The Nutribullet. I was blessed and lucky enough that my parents were able to get me a Nutribullet for my 20th birthday (!! Squeee!!). Not only is it super satisfying to see all the solid stuff turn into a smooth blend, but it’s added a bit of motivation for me to eat healthier and try new fruit/greens combinations. My personal favorite concoction so far is a banana, some frozen strawberries/blueberries, some fresh spring mix salad, lemon-flavored greek yogurt, and a touch of water. If any of y’all have this device or something similar I recommend that blend (and psst- tell me down below what your favorite is!).

2. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. While I don’t agree 100% with all that she writes, I think her “Desire Map” is a simple but brilliant concept! I first snatched up this book at the library when I was browsing self-help books (yes, I’m THAT person) and I really enjoyed it. The only problem was that the second half of the book was a workbook and it felt imperative to complete that section in order to reap all of its benefits. So I was able to get my own personal copy and having been writing in it ever since. It’s a very good practice for anyone that’s trying to understand themselves better and, as the author Danielle puts it, create goals with soul. It’s certainly an interesting read.

3. A daily yoga practice. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned on this blog before how much I dig yoga. It feels energizing, restorative, and all around lovely. My goal everyday is to allow myself 30 minutes (at the least) to do some yoga. The ideal goal would be 60 minutes per day, but I’m having trouble committing to just half an hour so I’m still in the process. It’s awesome if you join some sort of class, but for me I enjoy it most when I’m by myself and I don’t have the time/money to attend one. I find the best thing that works for me is setting up my laptop near my mat and putting on some Youtube videos. I recommend a channel like DoYouYoga for everyone, especially if they’re beginners because the yogis are excellent at explaining how the positions should look/work. My go-to teacher on their is Erin Motz. I like to either watch a few of her videos from the 30 Day Yoga Challenge or just her 30 minute routine video. Wherever you go to practice, just do it! I promise it will help you with your mindset and health so much.

That’s it for today- within the next few days I’ll finish up the list with my other feel good favorites. For now, I wish you all the best of luck and am giving you all big internet hugs.

Loads of love,

Violet XO

An Important Reminder

There’s one issue that seems to run rampant in the Positive Psych/Self-Love community: the idea of being perfectly positive. Some gurus have even claimed that by thinking positive 24/7 one can build their ideal dream life, implying that any failure to achieve such a thing means a failure on their part to be optimistic enough. Manifestation- which while incredibly useful, should not become the center on someone’s life- ends up being the greatest action one can take. Ill luck or unfortunate happenings are demanded to be met with a smile because if you perk up you’re going to be okay, okay? 

To put it bluntly, that is such bullshit. I never thought I would feel so inclined to write a post like this, but I feel like it’s my duty as a member of this community to be honest and warn people that are either new or in too deep. Especially when it comes to those of us that deal with mental illness, or any sort of chronic illness really, it’s simply dangerous to think this way. You don’t have to avoid negativity to lead a positive life. Your mistakes and mishaps do not define you, and your inability to live in perfect joy is sure as hell not your fault. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. Let me repeat: it is okay and even good to be sad sometimes. There would be no happiness or peace without sadness or chaos. Humans are hard-wired to feel a large variety of emotions and to assert that we shouldn’t feel one of the more negative emotions is a slap in the face of the whole concept of self-love.

Loving yourself means accepting yourself. Accepting yourself means feeling what you feel and understanding feeling shitty doesn’t mean you are a failure, that you can’t be a positive force in this world. Don’t let anyone tell you to cheer up and shut up. Positivity does not equal perfection and you are not required to ignore your feelings in order to properly love yourself. I’m not telling you to wallow in self-pity and never break out of negative moods, but give yourself a good amount of time to recognize, accept, and deal with those feelings. Just because you have high anxiety or battle major depression doesn’t mean you aren’t a lovely, positive person. You just gotta feel your feelings, as silly and redundant as it sounds.

I know this turned into a bit of a rant, but I hope my message came across clear enough. I love you very much, and am wishing you all the best for the times ahead, rough or smooth.

Much love,

Violet XO

Letting Go Of Your “Perfect Self”

Happy Monday, gorgeous! I hope your week is off to a joyous start and you’re feelin’ all sorts of good vibes. Before I head to my shift at work I figured I would share a tiny insight that I’ve realized during my “Soul-Search-Because-I-Can’t-Come-Up-With-Anything-Cooler”: ideal does not equate to perfect, and trying to have the perfect day/be the perfect self is goddamn exhausting. Seems like common sense, right? I guess it just took me a bit longer to realize some of my disappointment in life was because I was trying to live up to an ideal that went beyond responsible expectations. Trying to achieve these goals (zero junk food, 8 glasses of water and no less, working out every day, etc.) just made me feel guilty and shameful for not doing things 110% perfectly. Sometimes we’re all too hard on ourselves for not completing our marathons, when we should feel proud for running 3/4 of the way and then gearing up to try again! As Dave Willis wisely said, “Be an encourager- the world has enough critics already.”

Instead of sulking around feeling defeated, I’ve recognized I need to approach myself with love and gratitude before anything else. If I had a cookie at lunch, I don’t need to give up and hate myself for “ruining” my healthy lifestyle. I can get back on the proverbial horse and make a fresh, nutritious dinner. Listen, y’all: There is no need for self-shame. There is a huge need for self-love and self-acceptance. At least for myself, living in this world makes me feel like every day needs to be a competition – and in some sense it should be- but not at the expense of my relationship with myself. Just as we should approach others with understanding and encouragement, so we should ourselves. You can live up to your ideals, but you’ll never live up to your ideas of perfection.

It’s nothing revolutionary, but I figured if it took me so long to figure that out, someone else might appreciate the realization. I’m sending you all warm hugs and tons of positive vibes.

So much love from me to you,

Violet XO

A little inspiration for those learning to love your inner & outer self. ♥

Hey there, beautiful! I was enjoying having the house to myself- *ahem* karaoke time *cough* – and I came across the song “Try” by Colbie Caillat. It gave me absolute goosebumps, or as my poetry professor says, “chillbumps”. Suddenly I felt  a yearning inside- damn, I wish that songs like this had been around when I was a preteen, and I hope that my two nieces grow up to love themselves. I try my best to raise them as strong and confident girls but as an aunt who isn’t with them 24/7, I can only do so much. On the bright side, I can always work on raising myself. I’m still in the process. Maybe I always will be, but I’m kind of okay with that. As long as you’re learning, a day is never wasted.

And what better way to show myself love than to indulge in some inspiration and share with my Interweb fellows? Here are some passionate and incredibly positive videos for y’all on this Sunday morning:

♥ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

♥ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnDgSsWnwwE

♥ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODnMaf0rB4c

I’m also going to challenge you to do something~ Take out a piece of paper and your favorite writing utensil. Write down 5 things about your physical appearance that you love, and ten things about your inner self that you love. I know you can do it.

Much love and tons of good vibes,
Violet XO

Some things to brighten your day or teach you something new!

Hello, all! Happy Easter to those who celebrate it- I hope your holiday is filled to the brim with joy and good memories. Today I wanted to share some of the cool things on the Interwebs I’ve found recently. I hope you enjoy this list- I even included a few of my favorite things this Spring.

✿ http://galadarling.com/article/feeling-burned-out-ask-yourself-this-one-simple-question/

✿ http://mysticmedusa.com/2013/05/fenging-up/

✿ http://dangerdame.com/2015/03/30/how-to-be-magnetic-4-ways-to-rev-up-your-magnetism/

✿ http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18169/how-to-stay-motivated-when-youre-not-in-the-mood-to-do-anything.html

✿ http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18030/are-you-sabotaging-your-authentic-self-heres-how-to-stop.html

✿ http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17999/walking-boosts-brainpower-4-other-reasons-to-exercise-every-day.html

✿ http://everydayroots.com/how-to-get-rid-of-bad-breath

✿ Pretty much any Dog Whisperer or My Cat From Hell episode, ever.

✿ http://www.seventeen.com/health/a29642/ways-to-be-instantly-happier/

✿ http://www.seventeen.com/health/advice/a21913/boost-body-confidence/

✿ Light or Pastel colors.

✿ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnT7ZDubj94

✿ Raising some gorgeous indoor plants.

That’s it babes- I hope you enjoyed the links and learned something interesting.

Much love from my house to yours,

Violet XO

A reminder for ~YOU~!

Hey there, darlings. This message is made special just for you- all of you. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, or some sort of comfort from the Universe, this is it. You are unbreakable. You may bend underneath the pressures of life, but you will never be broken. Your scars are proof that you can overcome anything. You have immeasurable strength, courage, bravery, and beauty. Beautiful isn’t the most important thing for a human to be, but know that you are gorgeous- a stunner inside and out- and it is totally okay to feel that way about yourself. It’s okay to feel beautiful, and it is not selfish or vain to do so.

You deserve to love yourself. How can you help others if you’re not well yourself? “Once we acknowledge and accept the good in us we can spread the good in the world” (if someone knows who first said this quote, please let me know in the comments below). Once you light a spark of love and compassion in your own heart, it will be much stronger and brighter; it will truly help you spread that love to others.

Treat yourself kindly, whether you’re celebrating a raise or feeling disappointed in yourself over a recent failure. You deserve your love and care 100% of the time. If you had a child, would you only love them when they behaved their very best? No, even though they may be difficult or challenging for us, we still love and care for them. Why is it so easy for us to love other people, in all their imperfect glory, but so hard for us to do ourselves the same favor?

Love yourself. Love others. Give yourself a break and rest when you know you need to. If you just took a few steps back, reflect on what went wrong and see what you can learn from it. Let it catapult you towards your dreams and desires. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” (Confucius). Celebrate all your victories, no matter how small. Take a couple risks and learn to listen to yourself, so you can better listen to others. Go after what you really want.

Your strength is unfathomable, your courage untouchable, and your beauty undeniable.

I hope this small letter gives you a little more hope and peace to hold on to. I hope you accomplish every single one of your dreams.

Wishing you the best & lots of love,

Violet XO

Tips on psyching yourself up for a shift or work day!

Happy Friday, y’all! I hope your weekend is as fabulous as you (which is, like, super fab) and you accomplish any and all of your goals. I only work one day this weekend so I’m pretty excited to have time to complete my homework for the upcoming week and clean house. My niece is staying with us this weekend and I have tons of fun things for the two of us to do. I try to spend as much time with her as possible, since I work during the weekends and that’s the only time she visits us.

Speaking of work, I mentioned last week that I would post up a list of the ways I get myself in a positive and more relaxed state of mind before heading out to my job, so here it is: eight tips I’ve learned to use when I’m working and can guarantee some stress.

Have filling, nutritious meals. I love me some snacks and junk food, but I do my best to avoid them when I know it’s going to be a long day. So I make sure to have decent-sized meals (pretty much whatever I know I’ll be home for) that are packed with the fuel my body needs. For example, having some nuts, whole grain toast or tortilla, almond milk, a side of fruit, etc. You can get really creative with how you’re going to treat your body kindly; there is a plethora of healthy meal ideas on the internet. On days where I stick with this goal, I not only feel more energized (and therefore better equipped to work my shift) but also happier and less grumpy.

Power Poses. I already wrote a post about Power Poses so I’ll keep this short. Do them for at least 2 minutes a day, every day. Especially when you have work. It really does help to keep you as stress-free as possible. Bonus: it makes you feel confident!

Sweat out the nervousness. When we’re busy, we tend to forgo the 30 minutes of exercise that we should be doing every day. I get it, I’m still working on finding a routine that works with me and my schedule. But I’ve noticed I perform best when I’ve had a long session of Yoga or even just a 15 minute cardio routine beforehand. It helps you release some of your tension and will also make you more awake and ready to do your best.

Stay hydrated. Yes, just because you work doesn’t mean you get to skip out on hydrating yourself! 😉 Drinking eight glasses of good ol’ H2O will keep you healthy ~and~ put you in a better mood. Studies have shown that sometimes we’re bitter grumps simply because we’re dehydrated. It’s hard to stay cheerful when you’re thirsty. Read more about it here: http://healthymonday.syr.edu/blog/student-voice/drinking-water-will-improve-your-life.html

Make room for Me Time. Whatever Me Time means to you, just do it. You need to make the time for yourself to relax and be at peace- otherwise you’ll go crazy and become too stressed to function properly. For me, that means popping a lemon pound cake-scented wax melt into my melt warmer, playing music that speaks to my soul, drinking a big cup of warm tea, and dicking around on the internet. Everybody requires some R & R. You deserve this time, okay?

Keep track of non-work-related chores you need to do. There’s something strangely comforting about writing up a daily To Do list. Of course, it’s also incredibly satisfying to cross those duties off! Keeping a small To Do list with important non-work things you have to complete will make sure you don’t fall behind- which will just mean more stress for you- and give you that lovely feeling of knowing you kicked the day’s ass.

Stay inspired. Joel Osteen said, “When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.” This quote is 110% truth. It is not other people’s jobs to keep you motivated, it is yours. Do whatever you need to do; find that inspiration, look for more, and work at it every damn day. Your happiness and inspiration is purely yours to worry about. Keep an inspiration Pinterest board, tape up motivational words on your walls, etc. Always be seeking and soaking in that inspiration.

Lastly, remember why you started. Why are you in this position- are you getting your foot in the door of the career world of your dreams? Testing the waters? Are you doing this for some much-needed income? Do you usually enjoy your work but hate the stress it comes with? Reminding yourself of your reasons for doing this job will add fuel to your inner-fire and keep you going strong. You can do this.

I hope these little tricks help you as much as they’ve been helping me. Let me know in the comments down below what your personal tips are for psyching yourself up for a workday.

Much love and positive vibes,

Violet XO

A Confidence Booster: Power Poses

Happy weekend, friends! If you’ve traveled down the rabbit hole that is the self-help world, you’ve probably come across this phrase before: Power Pose. No, it’s not what superheroes do when they’re interrupting a dastardly villain’s evil scheme. Well, not exactly. Power Poses are positions of the body that evoke a sense of (You guessed it!) and power and confidence. Just as the mind can influence the body, the body can transform the mind as well- studies have shown that simply posing like the following…

Photos courtesy of Amy Cuddy’s TEDxTalk.

… can lower levels of the stress hormone Cortisol and make you feel more secure and confident in yourself. The pose depicted on the right is actually nicknamed the “Superman”, so maybe it really is a pose a do-gooder would strike before vanquishing criminals. Amy Cuddy did an incredible TEDxTalk about the subject and in it she shares the results of a study concerning the impact of strong-looking poses on the mind that she oversaw. I’ve given it a try myself, and it really does seem to work! Cuddy recommends remaining in a Power Pose for two minutes every day, or before any big or stressful event. It may just help you handle the situations better. 🙂

If you’re looking for a quick and easy boost in self-confidence, I highly recommend checking out her video:

Hoping all of your wishes and dreams come true. XO Violet

Hello again!

Hi y’all! Week number one of the semester is done (15 more to go!) and I had a little time to post a life/goals update and some journal prompts and ideas for you lovely people. This will probably end up being a rather short post, but I miss writing here and will write what I can, when I can.

As for my daily life, not too much has changed: I go to school Monday through Friday, spend time with my friends and family, and do my best in order to pet as many damn animals as I can haha. Life is a bit quiet at the moment but I am enjoying it to the fullest. Going to school full time- even at just a community college- can be overwhelming and busy, so I genuinely enjoy whatever peace I can find!

Concerning my goals, however, my life has been a little more exciting and lively. Although I have big and general goals for 2015, I decided to break them up into smaller and more specific goals that I will work on each month. For example, one of my annual goals is to continue learning and becoming a smarter, more informed person. So every month I aim to read at least one book (which sounds totally wimpy but when you’re a student time becomes scarce!) and keep up to date on current events. My monthly goals for January are:

★ Read a book

★ Complete & send in 3 writing submissions

★ Make good grades

★ Volunteer once a week

★ Blog daily

★ Maintain healthy habits

I’m proud to say that I’ve accomplished one of those goals already (I finished a book I started in December and then read a captivating fiction novel) and am halfway through on the second. I have also been doing my best to maintain healthier habits, which means I’ve been keeping on track with my skincare routine, staying hydrated, making and eating healthy meals, resisting junk foods (unless I’m having my daily treat), going to bed at an earlier time, keeping good hygiene, etc. This goal, along with achieving good grades, will have its success shown at the very end of the month. I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

Unfortunately, I have not accomplished the remaining two goals- blogging daily and volunteering once a week. I’m going to be honest and say that the first is completely unreasonable given my schedule during the semester, and as far as the latter goal, I’ve been damn lazy. I could get off my butt and sign up for duty at the soup kitchen, donate some items to the self-help pantry of the city’s Epilepsy foundation, etc. These things are plausible and totally doable. But I’ve been lazy and a tad selfish this month. I’ve spent so much working on myself that I’ve forgotten that part of self-love and inner-peace is helping to better the lives of others around you. So while I won’t be able to check these things off of my list, for the remainder of the month I’m going to keep writing when I have the time/energy and at least once donate my time and efforts to a good cause. I just need to do it; otherwise I’m wasting some of the life that I’ve been blessed with. As the beautiful-inside-and-out Audrey Hepburn once said, “Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at each end of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover you have two hands. One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.” Words to live by, my friend.

Lastly, I wanted to share with you all a few of the journal prompts I thought up this morning:

★ What are the things going right in my life? What am I doing right in my life?

★ What are the things going wrong in my life, and what am I doing wrong?

★ How can I turn those wrong things around or use them for the greater good of myself and others?

I hope this post resonates with you in some way. We all fall off the wagon but we must remember to celebrate our successes- no matter how small- and get back on track and continue working hard. How are your goals going? Are you enjoying January? Let me know in the comments below.

Have a wonderful day & lots of happy moments,

Violet XO