Bouncing back after bad experiences..

Hello, loves. We’ve all had bad things happen to us. We are let down by loved ones, become hindered by an unexpected obstacle, we fail in achieving one our greatly desired goals. It can seriously damage your confidence in yourself and your dreams. You may think, Did I make the wrong choice? Was I mistaken in thinking I could trust myself/that person? Am I not meant to be successful and happy? Will my dreams ever come true?

Talk about low morale.

In simple terms, failure SUCKS. It sucks when things don’t go the way we planned or hoped. And if we’re not careful enough, we can let our egos rule over us and we may vow to never try whatever we did again. That’s how people don’t achieve their dreams, friend. If you really want that job, that success, that whatever-it-is that you want, you need to work for it. You need to work for it hard. Your bruised ego might throw doubts and darts of negativity at you but don’t you dare give up on your goals; don’t fucking give up on your happiness. You need to brush yourself off, give yourself a pep talk, and bounce back into it.

For example, I did not get the job at the library. It is very disheartening for me- I thought it was something in the bag. It was perfection and would have made me very happy. Unfortunately, the Universe decided I wouldn’t have that lovely position. And believe me, it makes me not want to try- what if I get rejected from every job that I truly want? I’m scared of being miserable in a shitty job that will lead me to be a shitty person. I’m not exactly happy at the moment.

But I want to be happy. I want my happiness and a secure future that I will love so I will get back up. I’m going to search for more similar jobs with schedules that will work with mine at school. I will apply for all those jobs that fit my needs/wants best. I will show up to any interview- even those terrifying phone call interviews- and pretend I am a damn confident and sociable person who is 110% up for the job, even though it will be scary for me. I’ll probably fail again, and maybe even a third time. But worrying won’t help; it only hurts.

Give yourself the proper time to mourn whatever loss you have suffered, then focus on positivity, get up, and keep on fighting the good fight. Maybe you’re just one more failure closer to achieving your true dreams and a happy life. Stay strong.

Don’t you dare give up.

Clearer space = clearer mind.

Good morning, babes! Sometimes there is no better feeling than the one you get after working hard to clean, clear, and organize your surroundings. Refreshing your environment seriously refreshes your mind! On days when I feel my anxiety creeping in- attempting to make a horrid comeback- or feeling more depressed than usual, I find that cleaning my environment truly helps to both distract and ground me. I mean, how am I supposed to deal with all of that mental clutter if I can’t even keep my room livable? Having a clear, organized, and positive environment will influence your mind (whether or not you’ll always notice) in great ways. That’s not to say that tidying up the house will always help you get back on track. However, it doesn’t hurt to try. Why not test it out and possibly have wonderful results?

An easy checklist of cleaning and cleansing my space:

– Sweep, Swiffer, or vacuum the floor(s)

– Get rid of all that dust that is making your allergies hell for you

– Put dirty dishes (rinsed!) in the sink

– Do any loads of laundry you’ve been putting off

– Make your bed all comfy and cozy

– Put on some awesome music, open your windows a crack if the weather permits, and light your favorite scented candles/incense

– Disinfect anything you touch often

– Organize random crap into: donate, trash, recycle, keep out, or store away.

– Put away your clothes and shoes (ughh, I know!)

– Hang up something that makes you smile

– Clean your windows, yo.

– Organize remaining things you decided you want to keep in reach

Do you find cleaning your surroundings helps to bring you some clarity? Let me know if my checklist helped you or what you would add to it!

Beauty isn’t skin deep, but sometimes it’s easiest to start there.

All of us are on our own journeys to self-love, self-acceptance, and true confidence. We are different in many ways and so our voyages will always be a little different. For some people, learning to love their entire selves is easiest done by starting with admiring our inner-selves. Some of us have a more challenging time loving our outsides, so we work from the inside out. But for others, it’s much easier to begin from the outside in. In my experience thus far, it is a tad bit easier to start with showing love to my outer-self and then working my way in. It’s not bad to do this.

There is no wrong way to love your whole self, ‘kay?

Here is a short guide for those who are on the second path. Enjoy; I hope it treats you well and helps you transition into a more confident, loving person. 🙂

Wear what you want to wear. Don’t listen to anyone who decrees what is flattering and what is not. You know what’s flattering to your body shape? Wear whatever clothes you fucking like. If you’re a bigger girl, don’t take people’s bullshit about not being able to rock horizontal stripes or that you should always wear black or belts or something. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too short for flat shoes or too tall for high heels. There is no such thing. the first step in rocking your physique is to dress it in ways that make YOU comfortable, confident, and feeling like the hot babe you are. Wear what you fucking want and you will always look good.

Adorn yourself if you’d like. If you don’t like to accessorize, that’s fine and dandy. Whatever makes you feel pretty- whether that’s no jewelry, tattoos, piercings, and makeup or wearing all of the above- must be adorned. You feel great in a bold red lip and suicide rolls in your hair? Wear that shit. You feel best when bare-faced and wearing minimal jewelry? Rock it! Whatever your style is, embrace it and don’t ever let anyone (no matter how stylish they seem) tell you it doesn’t look enough/too much. You go ahead and do your thing, girlie. Rock that glittery nail polish or those hoop earrings. You look fantastic.

Leave the house knowing that you look like a billion bucks. Ain’t nobody got time to dissect their appearance and wonder if their style is okay for this world. Walk with an air of confidence: keep your head held high, gaze steady, and breathe easy knowing you look your best because you feel like you look your best. The only person whose opinions concerning your looks matter are YOU and your doctor. Ignore anyone else who tries to tell you what is healthy and unhealthy. Don’t let them convince you that you aren’t trendy enough or that you’re too trendy. Work it girl. You look totes-mah-goats fabulous.

Wishing you a marvelous day. ♥

Being your fabulous self & rocking it.

I think there’s been quite a bit of confusion regarding self-esteem (and women’s self-esteem in particular). As someone working to empower both herself and others, it can be challenging to balance love for your physical self and love for your inner-self. As women in this society we are taught from an early age to be pretty little things- we are told we are by nature something of great physical beauty, pretty aesthetic, and we must forever strive to be youthful and beautiful. On the other hand, I’ve noticed a decent portion of Third Wave Feminists insisting that any focus- no matter how small or rare- dedicated to admiring and accepting one’s appearance is purely selfish vanity and something to be avoided entirely. That we as women have so long faced the beauty standards imposed upon us, demanding we fit the attractive ideal of our societies; that we should be ashamed of ourselves for even regarding ourselves as “pretty” because being “pretty” is such a shallow concept.

As someone trying hard every day to love herself and teach others to love themselves, it’s hard for me to strike the perfect balance between these two conflicting theories. I don’t take what I do lightly. How dare I insinuate that you are beloved partially because you’re conventionally attractive? But I believe it’s just as important to question how I dare demand you not find your physique beautiful.

Newsflash~ It is 100% okay and acceptable and even GOOD to like how you look.

Let me repeat that.

IT IS GOOD AND OKAY TO THINK THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE ON THE OUTSIDE. IT IS OKAY TO BELIEVE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND ROCKING THAT NICE ASS.

There is nothing wrong with loving your physical self. You are not vain, or shallow, or doing a disservice to women everywhere- you are being a badass bitch full of love, compassion, and confidence. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

And while we’re speaking of screwing anyone trying to restrict you, You are NOT your body.

You are not limited to outer-beauty. You are a tangle of beautiful characteristics and inner-qualities and your beauty cannot and will not ever be measured by your weight, shape, height, skin tone, the color of your eyes, the waves/kink/straightness of your hair! You are not just a pretty thing.

You are NOT just a pretty thing.

You are so, so much more than that.

So while loving your appearance is very vital to your self-love journey, remember that you are also a stunning creature on the inside. Your every pore seeps beauty. However, you are also beautiful because of the way you snort when you laugh, and that quirky thing you do with your hands while speaking, and the love and empathy you show for other beings.

Your beauty is unlimited. So should your self-love be.

Sparking self-esteem within your children/siblings.

Hey ya’ll. Happy Tuesday! I can’t believe we’re already this far into August. Since a lot of kiddies shall be returning back to school very soon, now is the perfect time to catch up with them and make sure they’re developing a nice, steady foundation of self-confidence. Here are a few crafts or projects you can do with your child or younger sibling to help reinforce the idea that they are important, worthy, beautiful, and strong. The main message behind these projects is: Not only do YOU matter, but what you think about yourself matters too; your own perception of yourself is arguably the most powerful belief and is definitely more important than what other people think of you. I think it’s a great thing for kids to learn. Too often we start these journeys to self-acceptance so late in life. Give your loved one a head start. ♡

I AM BOARD

Grab a large piece of paper, a canvas, or any sort of similar material. For this craft we will be focusing on what we think of ourselves and what we think our strengths/positive qualities are. It’s vital to do this so that we recognize the good within ourselves and to remind us that we have things that we are not only already good at but can work on to become even more amazing than we already are. Grab some scissors, markers/crayons/pens/paints, a form of glue/tape, pretty little trinkets to adorn your craft, and any sort of patterned paper you enjoy (for an older child, you could incorporate magazine clippings). Using whatever writing utensil you’d like, draw in large letters “I AM…” and then go nuts. Fill in the space remaining with various characteristics you admire about yourself (i.e: strong, independent, talented at ___, good at ____) and decorate the heck out of it. For bonus points, include a picture of yourself- preferably a picture in which you felt most beautiful or happy.

PRETTY PETALS

For this craft you will need two different colored cardstock/papers, glue/tape, marker, something round you can trace (size depends on how big you want the flower to be), scissors, and a pencil. The main goal of this project is very similar to the one above; we will be naming characteristics/qualities of ourselves that we think are good or great, but these will mostly be one-word descriptions (ex.: truthful, artistic, kind, hardworking, etc.). Trace a circle on the piece of paper you would like to be the inner part of the flower. Cut the shape out and write your name on it with your favorite color marker. Feel free to decorate it as you please. Then, using your other piece of paper, draw petal shapes and cut these out too. The amount of petals is entirely up to you. Then write one nice thing about yourself on each petal- remember, you can decorate these too if you want! Then using the glue/tape, connect the petals to the center piece and voila! Your self-esteem flower is complete!

MYSELF & I

This last project is all about positivity. Unlike the two I have already mentioned, this particular craft involves both your own self-perception and how others view you. You will need either a canvas or a large piece of paper, a pen/marker, and some paints (watercolor will work best). Take your pen or marker and draw the silhouette of a person from the shoulders up. Next, take the paints and have fun. Decorate the two defined spaces of the paper as it pleases you. Personally, I made mine teal and green/blue on the outside and blue/purple on the inside of the silhouette. Wait for this to dry. When it’s safe to play with again, use your pen/marker and write the best compliments you have ever received on the outside of the silhouette. These may include compliments regarding physical appearance/beauty, but it’s important to really keep your mind on the great things of yourself that cannot be “seen”. After all, one’s true beauty cannot be measured by how fabulous you look on the outside! When you’ve completed that, take your time and write within the silhouette the characteristics you personally admire about yourself/love about you. When that is finished, adorn as you wish and feel proud that you’ve done this project.

Thanks to Pinterest for inspiring these projects. Have you tried/will you be trying any of these with your little ones? What were the results?

50 Ways To Cheer Up Your Inner-Grump

It’s okay to be grumpy sometimes. Shitty things happen and occasionally we don’t even need unfortunate circumstances in order to feel under the weather. And while it’s totally A-Okay to not feel good all the time, it truly does help to be able to cheer yourself back up. Whether it’s enough to get you on your A-game or simply make you less likely to hurt yourself and do something you will regret later on, it’s all good! Any step in the right direction is a great thing. Here is a list I’ve compiled of 50 techniques I’ve used in the past that have succeeded in raising my spirits. I promise they’re all positive, healthy ideas. (:

1. Give somebody a hug. 2. Bake something yummy. 3. Cuddle with a furry friend. 4. Read a good book. 5. Take a warm shower or a bubble bath. 6. Watch one of your favorite movies. 7. Play Uno with your family/friends (or your favorite game). 8. Volunteer your time for a good cause. 9. Clean the house/your room. 10. Gulp down a glass of water. 11. Take a walk outside. 12. Visit with friends and loved ones. 13. Wear super comfy clothes. 14. Write down all of the things you’re grateful for today. 15. Get crafty and create something. 16. Light a candle in your favorite scent. 17. Wear your favorite perfume. 18. Pamper yourself~ Use a face/body scrub, face mask, hair mask, body butter, etc. 19. Compliment a stranger. 20. Compliment yourself. 21. Exercise and get that heart rate up. 22. Have a delicious snack. 23. Paint your nails in your favorite color. 24. Go on an adventure. 25. Cheer someone else up. 26. Listen to music that makes you happy. 27. Smile. 28. Dress up in the outfit that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. 29. Get out of the house. 30. Cook a beloved meal. 31. Draw something. 32. Watch silly videos. 33. Grab your favorite Starbucks drink. 34. Buy yourself some flowers to brighten up your room. 35. Laugh as much as you can. 36. Have a good cry. 37. Take a nap. 38. Call up a friend. 39. Daydream about happy things. 40. Eat something that’s good for you. 41. Draw flowers/shapes on your arms. 42. Enjoy a cup of tea. 43. Pay fun Interwebs games. 44. Relax on something comfortable. 45. Try a different makeup look or hairstyle. 46. Blow bubbles. 47. Tell a stupid joke. 48. Go exploring the town. 49. Write in a journal. 50. Try something new.

Small Steps

Good morning, nuggets. I’m going to try to write here at least every other day now. I want to keep on sharing good things with ya’ll and developing my abilities as a writer.

Progress is hard, ya know?

I am working hard to strengthen my foundation- my mind, body, and soul/spiritual self. That is really fucking hard. I give immense props and all of the respect to people who have accomplished this. It’s a gigantic load of hard work, determination, faith, and perseverance (random fun fact, I used to know a dude named Severance). In simpler terms, it’s hella exhausting!

I’ve been working on self-love, treating my body right, being more helpful to others, feeding my soul with positivity and goodness, learning more things about the world, and overall self-improvement. That is one freaking huge assignment for little old me. But hey, like Shakespeare wrote:

“She be little but she be fierce”.

I am small- dainty almost- but I can do damn near anything I set my heart on. I have a lot on my plate but I am determined to finish it all in due time. I am strong enough. I am worthy enough. I am beautiful enough. And I am brave enough. Failure or slow progress is okay, because they are still parts of progress. When I was younger and adored the model Audrey Kitching, I remember she once wrote on her blog: “Never be afraid of failure. Take that shit like a queen; failures are the stepping stones to greatness”. I don’t know if she thought that up herself, but that was the first time I realized that failure had a good, healthy purpose.

I am making mistakes along the way and I’m taking small steps. But hey- that’s still a step in the right direction, right?

So even though I’m not doing as well as my ego hoped I would do, today I choose to focus on the victories, no matter how tiny and insignificant they may seem. They’re still victories.

A list of my small but positive steps:

1. I’ve made a habit of brushing my teeth twice a day (dental hygiene, woooo!).

2. I’ve really connected with Bella about being kind to ourselves and I’m proud to say this past weekend she said ZERO bad things about herself or others.

3. I’ve made plans with friends this week.

4. I’m writing this right now, even though I could have be lazy and simply waited until I felt more like writing.

5. I haven’t watched TV before bed for at least a month; although in this case, I have to congratulate my sloth self for being too lazy to retrieve the remote that slipped under my bed. Heheheh.

6. I’ve been reading loads (both fiction and non-fiction) and have found both a fiction series I love and a couple books on Wiccan spirituality and practice that have truly resonated with me and taught me a few pearls of wisdom.

7. I’ve recognized my latest bouts of sudden jealousy as reminders to work on my self-love and compassion for others.

What are your victories? What small steps in the right direction can you celebrate today?