A little dose of happiness

Consider today’s post a potent potion for feeling a little bit better. It may not cure anything, but it sure as hell will work wonders. So grab a glass of iced tea (I’ve got my favorite, Tazo Peach Green Tea, right next to me!) and settle on the comfiest chair you can find.

I just wanted to tell both myself and you guys: “The storm will pass. Your heart and mind will settle.” (s.k.)

Even without accounting for recovery, life is hard. Anyone else who says otherwise is full of shit. Yes, life is not as challenging as we think it is sometimes, but it is undoubtedly difficult. They say the hardest part of something is always admitting that you aren’t who or where you want to be, and deciding to make a change. That can be a large obstacle to overcome, but I think we can agree that the most challenging part of change is the actual change itself- altering your habits, your words, encouraging/discouraging certain behaviors, etc. Right now I happen to be in the mid-change boat.

So remember, everybody, (including me because I need hella motivation and positivity today) that the journey is hard- it’s full of unseen nooks and crannies and crooks and weird people and strange places and rocks you were so sure weren’t on the path just yesterday. It only makes sense that we’re going to struggle and even- GASP- make some mistakes along the way. Hell, you might just make a lot of mistakes. But you know what?

That is A Okay, bub.

Life is hard, and you’ve survived yours up to today. You can damn sure do it again, and you will see a shining, glorious ending eventually. I promise, it will be so worth the wait. Celebrate your current success. Appreciate the little things. And give yourself a pat on the back or your preferred flavor of frozen yogurt or something (Cake batter, woo!) because YOU DESERVE THIS.

NEWSFLASH- you deserve good things and pleasure in your life.

I am soooo proud of you for making it this far. I believe in you and your wild, crazy dreams. You’re going to do this, I know it, and so does the Universe. I bet it’s chilling, drinking a cosmic CapriSun just waiting for it to all come together. Tonight, let your mind rest a little easier and do something nice for yourself and the ones you love. You deserve a Cheerful Celebration, not a Pity Party.

You go girl 🙂

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Forgiving Yourself & A New Challenge!?

Good evening, little lightning bugs! It seems like Mother Nature decided to skip over Spring almost entirely and went straight to Summer. The day was sunny and hot as Hades, but luckily for the Midwest it seems that the next few nights are destined to be cool. Thank goodness! Warning: this post is going to be a bit sporadic.

Lately I’ve been trying to be aware of what I eat and how I eat. Although I have never suffered from an Eating Disorder, I can definitely say that I tend to be susceptible to disordered eating. I think it’s something a lot of people in this century have started to deal with. It’s not that I don’t like food or eating- I LOOOOVE food. If I could be in a relationship with a BTB from Panera, I wouldn’t even hesitate. However, I have a weird relationship with food, and it sometimes involves a lot of guilt, shame, or disappointment. It’s hard to explain. Some weeks ago I got really sick- I only made it 20 minutes into my favorite class and had to leave, it was that awful- and I believe it is because I wasn’t eating enough to stay healthy; the food I ate had zero nutrition and I would still exercise a little each day. I felt so incredibly sick that I vowed to treat my body better. I try my best to think of food equating fuel for my body. The better the food, the better the fuel for this vessel that I inhabit. I think I’ve been making some progress- my eating hasn’t been perfect but I ate when I felt hungry, had some water, and included some fresh veggies and fruits with some of my meals. It’s a step!

Another thing I’ve been working on is my skin. I developed acne my Junior year in high school and it can get VERY bad depending on my stress level and daily habits. I would love to clear up my skin this summer, so I’m changing up quite a few of my habits. The first to go? Always wearing a million layers of makeup over my irritated skin every day. I absolutely adore makeup and all of its uses, but lately I’ve been using it as a crutch for my self esteem. Uneven skin? BB cream! Blemishes? Concealer and Foundation! Then a lipstick or brow pencil or anything to keep the focus off of my difficult skin.

But it’s pretty damn vain of me to spend the rest of my life freaking out about something that so many people deal with as well. Unfortunately, it’s natural. So while I will be doing my best to prevent any further breakouts and allow the current ones to heal, I have challenged myself to stop wearing tons of makeup to simply feel socially acceptable. Screw it! I’m a marvelous soul, so why should I be so concerned about my appearance? My time could be better spent.

Fun fact~ when Demi Lovato (an inspiring individual, gorgeous inside and out) was attacked online and scrutinized for being “overweight”, this was her badass reply…

“I am healthy and happy. If you’re hating on my weight, then you’re obviously not.” 

Someone give this girl a medal!

As for forgiving myself, I got news yesterday about an ex-boyfriend and how his life has gone downhill. He was lacking in emotion a lot of the time, but still a person that I used to cherish, even after we stopped dating. I’d known him for five years- he was intelligent, dorky, cute, and always knew how to make me laugh. I cut off the friendship after a certain “friend” cyber-bullied me and he didn’t say anything about it. My friend then heard him making fun of me behind my back. Didn’t defend me, didn’t speak to me until my birthday (several months later) and I ignored him. That was it. Apparently now he might have quit college, works back at the high school he didn’t like, and is going down a bad hill. At first he was just smoking weed but then it started becoming excessive, and now I guess he’s been doing Acid back-to-back some days and smoking at the same time and just screwing with his brain.

I’ve been feeling sort of.. regretful, I guess. He had negative impacts on my life, but nobody was perfect. Sometimes I feel like I need to give people third, fourth, and fifth chances because I know I can make a lot of mistakes too. And he used to be someone I loved. I wanted to save him. But I think it’s time I forgive myself. I love him, but there were also other reasons why I cut him out of my life. He contributed to my negativity more than acceptable, and in order to be healthy and happy I had to let him go. It’s not my fault that he has ended up like this, and I need to let this go. Maybe at some point he’ll strike up a conversation, and maybe I might talk to him. But it’s been a long, long time and I’m okay not being his friend. I have some guilt in me, but I forgive myself. I forgive myself for doing something that might be selfish, because it was the best choice for my recovery. I forgive me.

Is there anything you’d like to forgive yourself for? Have you ever had to cut someone you cared about out of your life, for your health? What’s your favorite body peace quote? And is there any bad habit you’d challenge yourself about?

Love you guys. Keep on smiling, babes.

Anxiety tips + Rape culture rant + how to truly love yourself= one hella long post

Before I be all positive and awesome, I want to take a second, get my feminist on, and ask the universe something: Why the hell do we contribute so much to Rape Culture?! This always blows my fucking mind. How many times has a rape victim come forward and been bombarded with criticism on how much she drank or how much skin she was showing? On how she shouldn’t have been out alone anyway? Why on fucking earth do public high schools put so much damn effort into punishing young women who wear shirts or tank tops (and aren’t showing ANYTHING inappropriate) because god forbid my shoulders or thighs give a boy in puberty an erection, instead of calling out the guys who call girls sluts/whores and teaching young men to not treat them as sexualized objects to be conquered? If it is 80-90 degrees freaking Fahrenheit, WE ARE GOING TO WEAR SHORTS AND TANK TOPS.  Stop trying to teach us to be ashamed of our beautiful, sacred temples! We are not here for your sexual desires; nor do we exist to be attractive to you. We do not give you “impure thoughts”, you are having them of your own accord. And fuck you for thinking being female means that you’re only good for sex and baby-making. I personally respect men enough to expect them to be intelligent beings who can understand “no” as “no” and fucking control their sexual impulses. Seriously.

Okay, end of rant (see what you’ve done to me, news?). Bah. Now I’m physically smiling wide -it lowers blood pressure- and am ready to approach the day less cynically.

As someone who has dealt with Anxiety Disorder literally all of my life, I understand that this society is not Anxiety-friendly. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard people dismiss it simply as nervousness, said it doesn’t exist (really?), or that it’s just a teenaged-white-first-world-girl problem. This society does not cater to those who suffer from this, along with other mental illnesses. So believe me when I say that I understand it’s hard and that “It’s going to be okay” or “just calm down” aren’t sufficient. Here are some of the tips and techniques I’ve amassed over the past few years. i hope they help you out.

1. Controlled breathing~ An easy breathing exercise is inhaling deeply for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 4 seconds, and then release slowly for 8 seconds. Deep breathing really really helps with preventing/disarming panic attacks. When you feel yourself slipping, try this.

2. Positive affirmations~ I am beautiful. I am strong. I have overcome this before, and I will overcome it again. This is only temporary. My life is beautiful, even if I can’t see that right now. I am not alone. I am never alone.

3. Happy distractions~ Sometimes the only thing that really helps to calm me down is to distract myself with little things that make me happy. Watch your favorite youtube videos/movie/tv series or read your favorite book/blog. Write in a journal with your favorite color of ink, listen to cheerful music, light some incense, doodle, or go for a walk. Surround yourself with some of your favorite things so you are distracted and you can slowly pull out of your anxiety attack.

4. Reach out for others~ When I’m going through a bad bout of Anxiety I feel very alone and isolated from everyone else. My brain knows I have loved ones who I can reach out to for comfort and help, but at the same time I am convinced that no one can help me and I’m doomed to suffer all by myself. Surround yourself with love and comfort from others- call up a good friend and talk with them, ask your mom or dad to stay up with you a little late so that you can calm down (my amazing mother thankfully understands this and always helps me out!), cuddle with a furry friend, or ask a loved one to pick you up and spend time with them. It’s so much easier to get through things when you have support and caring on by your side.

Lastly, I found one of the best pages on Tumblr in the galaxy and one post in particular stood out to me. It was talking about how recovery isn’t a race and that if today you just can’t love and fully accept yourself, put your effort into not hating yourself. Self-love is a hard, long journey; we can’t always place a smile on our face and say in full honesty that we love ourselves just the way we are. However, we can always and forever avoid hating ourselves. Your body loves you so damn much, it tries to fight off illnesses for you. It has fat to insulate and protect your internal organs. It lets you sense the world around you and find pleasure with those senses, and it does it’s best to heal, even when you have harmed it. That is powerful. Your body loves you and the least you can do is not hate it.

PS: the blog I referenced is this one: http://ed-free-maggie.tumblr.com/. This person is incredible and has the most beautiful soul.

Garden Witchery

Happy Tuesday, people of the Interwebs! Sorry I didn’t post the flower spell last night, I honestly wasn’t feeling it. I was pretty grumpy. However, today is a new day and I’m pointing my face towards the sunshine- though some gloom and rain would be super appreciated, Mother Nature. I won’t be posting a ton on Wiccan topics since I’m still in the learning process, but if it’s relevant or when there is a Sabbat or Esbat coming up (These are sort of like holidays or days for sacred celebration) I’ll write a post or two. I figured with spring coming to an end and summer arriving shortly it would be a lovely time to talk about a little Garden Witchery.

Do you remember hearing the advice from older folk to talk to your flowers? I’ve heard this wise advice a few times and not surprisingly discovered it may have its roots in old Pagan culture. Wiccans and Pagans tend to get a pretty shitty rep in modern media, but magick isn’t some Hocus Pocus. I mean, there are wands involved (along with various other symbolic tools, like in most religions) but at least in my eyes, it’s more of a focused self-aware thinking. Many things we do in our daily lives (spring cleaning, putting good intentions into cooking/baking, and hanging mistletoe and similar holiday greenery up around the house in the winter period) are actually traditionally Pagan. As you see, there’s nothing extremely weird about those things; they are simply traditions that call upon us to live in the present and use our power to create a loving, nature-centered, and safe environment. That was sort of a murky explanation ha, but Wicca can be hard to describe sometimes.

Well, the older people were onto something: plants react and may grow when surrounded by vibrational stimuli. Our voices and spoken words involve vibrations, and according to research plants may best grow when around music. Most of us don’t want to set up a stereo next to our gardens that plays music 24/7, so singing or speaking to your flowers is the next best thing. To learn more about helping your plants to go, check out this interesting source: http://www.proflowers.com/blog/can-talking-to-plants-help-them-grow.

My small spell that I speak or sing to flowers is this (feel free to create your own if you’d like to try it for yourself!);

Sweet little blossoms

stretching towards the Sun,

May your petals unfurl

and stems grow strong.

May you live in peace

with the birds and the bees,

drink your fill from rain

and feel love from me.

You can sing or speak these when watering or grooming your garden. As long as you truly mean and believe it, the magick will begin its work. Try to think positive, calm, loving thoughts when gardening. And if you’re not Wiccan, simply enjoy the happiness the garden gives you and let the plants soak up those healthy vibrations!

Are you growing anything in a garden this year? What are your favorite flowers? Do you have any gardening/planting tips for us beginners (this is my first time in ten years)?

Woooaaaahh!

Good morning, darlings. Before I begin my little pep talk for ya’ll, I thought I’d share some interesting information..

I have a secret admirer! (!!!!!!!!!!!)

Little old me? Well gosh dangit, I didn’t realize I was that fab. *hair flip*

My good friend C is in Miami right now and she randomly texted me saying that one of her friends is interested in me. Since I’m overflowing with curiosity, I pretty much hounded her to unmask this mysterious man. Unfortunately (for me), she’s too awesome of a friend to go back on an oath swearing her to secrecy. I am intrigued, to say the least.

 13. Two Gulls Shocked After Seeing Me Sun Bathing In My Y-Fronts

Hint: This was literally my reaction. (photo from dailynewsdig.com)

Anyhoo, here is my message to you beautiful, magnificent people today: imagine a bright, lovely future for yourself- full of love, happy memories, laughter, kisses, embraces, and with dreams and wishes coming true- and act the part. By “act the part”, I mean for you to fully believe in yourself and that you will ultimately be receiving that future, and totally kick life’s ass as you walk like a person who knows how to perform magic with the universe. An easy way of doing this is thinking about what Ideal Future You would do today. For example: My Ideal Future Self is healthy- she is well and glowing and her health oozes out of her (not literally, of course. That would be disgusting).What would Healthy Violet do? I think she would drink 8 glasses of water, do a small workout to Blogilates (another amazing babe I suggest you should check out. She makes exercising fun and helps to motivate you!), read a little, eat balanced meals, sing to the flowers to grow big and strong, and spend at least an hour treating herself. And damn skippy treating herself entails reading Creepypasta and eating lays chips with sour cream/onion dip… while lounging in super comfy clothes surrounded by yummy-smelling candles. So basically, just act as though your Ideal Self would act. Own it, I triple dog dare you. .>:l This smiley means business!

Who is your ideal self and what does she/he do today? Do you accept my rebellious challenge (you know you want to)? What things to you do to treat or pamper yourself? Also.. have you ever had a secret admirer before, and how did that story turn out?

 PS: Later today I’ll post something wickedly Wiccan- ah, word play- and show you the mantra I have for helping my beautiful flowers grow big and strong.

Arsenal of Awesome

Hello my little nuggets, how is your morning going? I didn’t sleep in today but I’ve got an insane determination to do things (GASP! Violet, not being a total couch potato? Who knew.) I’m hanging out with my best friend M today and I simply can’t wait. It’s been too long- hint: it’s been a week- so I can’t wait to grab a cup of tea with her and be silly. Unfortunately she doesn’t get off of work until 8:30, so I am going to find ways to entertain myself until then.

Anyhoo, I thought I’d channel my inner Gala (ohmygawd I’m sorry I keep mentioning her but she’s just so awesome) and post a fabulous set of links to help all of ya’ll with your journey to good health and positivity. Enjoy and let me know if you like any of them. Feel free to post a link that you find helpful.

http://www.xojane.com/healthy/5-rules-for-cutting-negative-people-out-of-your-life-and-more-importantly-never-looking-back

http://dangerdame.com/2014/05/08/shailene-woodley-and-when-feminism-became-the-f-word/

http://dangerdame.com/2014/03/24/5-tips-to-keep-fighting-for-your-dreams-when-you-want-to-give-up/

http://galadarling.com/article/100-things-to-do-when-youre-upset-the-sad-trombone-list/

http://galadarling.com/article/radical-self-love-manifesto/

http://galadarling.com/article/why-should-you-love-yourself-now/

http://galadarling.com/article/radical-self-love-in-action-start-a-gratitude-jar/

http://galadarling.com/article/the-ultimate-guide-to-making-your-period-suck-less/

http://galadarling.com/article/100-ways-you-can-start-loving-yourself-right-now/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/love-yourself_b_4218211.html

http://theorganicsister.com/ways-to-love-yourself/

And to finish this off, here’s a post with an immense amount of cutie patooties:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/yezminvillarreal/puppies-who-are-embarassed-of-their-owners

Wishing you moments of happiness and some body peace! Love yourself, because you’re awesome, ‘kay? ‘Kay.

Answers to my little questionnaire ^-^

1. I like my wide hips, booty, thighs, hair, and eyes. I love my singing voice, my compassion, determination, creativity, and big heart.

2. On a scale, I’m about a 4. Not super well or happy, but not as anxious as usual.

3. I am looking forward to visiting the aquarium in Chicago for the first time, possibly getting a quiet job at a local library, and going to Gay Pride for the third time 🙂 I’m also excited for when I can visit a pool or beach and returning to Riot Fest (squeeeee, Rise Against! Pussy Riot! Circa Survive! Weezer! Eeeeeeep!!!). Ooh, and I’m psyched for hopefully volunteering to take care of cute kitties, dying my hair back to a darker purple, possibly taking a road trip with J (?), being published in Torrid Literature again, and adding some more flowers to my cozy garden.

4. My small goal for the day was to be the model in a photoshoot done by my sister-in-law. I’m not used to having people look at me or take pictures of me, you know? It feels awkward to act pretty, if you understand what I mean. According to her, I “rocked it”. Hahaha, I don’t know about that, but I DID go through it and accomplish that goal.

5. My bigger goal for the day was to feel good about myself and be more active- as J suggested. I’m normally sort of a hermit that just chills on the Interwebs and spends the day in silent solitude. He pointed out that it might help me to spend more time outside and doing active things. And I finished this for the most part; I still feel pretty insecure yet I was basking in the sunshine- on a freaking cobblestone path, for goodness’s sake!- and hanging out with my big sis. I think that’s at least a step, right?

I mean, celebrate the little things! You deserve it.

6. I am inspired by Gala Darling, J, my mermie (♥), my Intro to Psych professor, and Katy Perry.

7. And lastly, these are ten things that make me happy: hilarious tumblr posts, glitter, pastel nail polish, dark red/purpleish lipstick, widdle bb animals, baby laughter, warm showers, flowery backyards, macaroons, and good books.

 

Goodnight ya’ll!