Friday thoughts + a little pep talk.

Hooray, it’s Friday!! It’s officially the weekend. Wishing ya’ll an exciting Friday (or a relaxing one if that’s what you’re going for) with happy moments galore. Be easy on yourself today- you’ve worked through a hard week and you deserve a little celebration! Think for a second… what is one kind thing you can say to yourself? What is one kind thing you can do for yourself? Ponder on that a bit, and then go out and make it happen. I’ll even share mine as an example (and to remind you guys that I’m indeed taking my own advice): One kind thing I can say to myself is “Go get ’em, babe. Today is your day and it turns out how you’ve made it to be. Make it a great one! I know you can do it.” One kind thing I can do for myself is to paint my nails a sparkly, glittery color that will make me smile every time I look down at my hands. What are yours?

Today will be a busy day. I am thinking of accompanying my Mermie to the local mall (LUSH face masks & bath bombs! Can I get a what what?) and later on will be hanging out with C and her sister before the bonfire. I’ve decided to attend- even though I won’t stay super late- because there are a few awesome people there and social events are probably important for a functioning human. Plus, puppies! Somewhere between that madness I want to get my Violet on and do some creating, along with pampering myself, exercising, reading, and making sure I’m staying hydrated and eating enough. ‘Tis a lot on my plate, yes, but I can do anything I set my heart on. I encourage you to feel the same way about yourself. After all, you’re a damn magical creature with the essence of beauty and life within you. TL;DR: you are an irreplaceable, awesome person, ‘kay?

Tomorrow I shall make another post (Woah Violet, you’re actually posting every day?) about birthdays and such. I promise it’ll make you smile.♥

Much love & laughter sent your way.

Things I’d like to share with you lovelies.

Happy Thursday, everyone! Are you guys excited for the weekend? Do you have anything planned? I’m going to attempt to return to C’s Friday bonfires- since the offending-incident I’ve been reluctant to return. Plus, driving around that area is super confusing because of the weird roads and I recently learned that the exact road I take to get home (of course it had to be just that one) is gang territory and they’ve been trying to intimidate some of my friends who live around there. Apparently they’ll follow people driving during the evening onto random roads and flash their brights at them. Just another reason for my lazy self to not do the driving, haha.

Besides that, I have no exact plans for the weekend. I’m trying to save some space for the unknown. You know, adventure! Let’s hope that we all actually find interesting adventures for ourselves. I’m praying that mine comes in the form of some sort of mermaid-princess-warrior-story, but I obviously have high hopes.

Today I just wanted to share a few of my current favorite things with you guys. They make me happy, entertain me, and keep life bearable. (;

♥ Ice cold lemonade, water, & other similar beverages ♥ Megan Nicole’s cover of “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea (much fresher and brighter than the original, in my opinion) ♥ Yummy salad with kale, bb spinach (awww), carrots, tomatoes, fresh peas, and Thousand Island ♥ Spending some time at the pool ♥ Pewdiepie videos (specifically his recent series on the game Corpse Party) ♥ Antique/Thrift stores & finding creepy old things or interesting paraphernalia ♥ Maleficent!!! I saw it a few days ago with C & her little sister. We’re huge Disney fans and basically squealed the whole time. It is actually one of the best Disney movies I’ve ever seen. I highly recommend it for fellow positive people 😉 ♥ cute bb animal videos on Youtube ♥ foodie-smelling/sweet/gourmet scents and lotions ♥ having a quiet house for a day ♥ sketching in a brand new notebook my darling Mermie gave me; I’m not that rad of a drawer but I like doing it! ♥ Writing a list of the things I want to do with J this summer ♥ Festivals (Riot Fest, Apple Fest, Peace Fest, etc.!) ♥This: http://galadarling.com/article/radicalselflovejuly-an-instagram-challenge/ ♥Aaand this: http://galadarling.com/article/you-dont-have-to-be-perfect-to-inspire-others/ ♥Okay, this too: http://galadarling.com/article/she-makes-her-own-glitter-caylee-greys-radical-self-love-bible/ ♥Poptropica (yes it is a children’s game but I am a child damnit)

What has been cheering you up lately?

Belated Dares & Tears Tuesday

Good morning, fellow rays of sunshine! I feel like the stereotypical portrayal of a Hippie, but I have zero- none, zip, zilch!- shits to give. I will be positive today, so I am positive today; even if it sickens the cynic in me, haha. Negative-Me has been thrown out of the door where she can vacation and watch OITNB or something. Are we going to talk about Orange is The New Black?? Have any of ya’ll seen it? What season are you on? I am constantly surrounded by buddies who rave about it at least once a day. I tried it out (It’s a new thing, ‘kay? It counts as an adventure!) and am two episodes into the first season, but I have to say it’s a slow start. I’m going to at least ten. I’m really hoping it’ll redeem itself, I love ridiculous T.V. shows.

Anywaaay, ahem, yay for you guys surviving the second D & T challenge! Woooo! Get on your party hat and treat yourself, girlie. Here is a recap of how I managed the dare~

What I did: Wrote a little tune describing all that is the glorious Me, haha. I decided to make an ode to myself.

How it felt doing it: Let me assure you, it was definitely awkward to do at first (and a little throughout the whole thing). Yet despite the uncomfortable feelings of self-obsession and unworthiness, I encouraged the tiny Narcissist in me to come out and breathe some fresh air for a little. And you know what? It felt good. It felt great to feel worthy enough to have a song written about me, even if i wrote it myself. It felt incredible to recognize my beauty and amazing to remember my accomplishments.

Am I inspired to do something similar again? Hell to the yaasss (shout-out to Bunny Meyers ❤ !). I decided to redecorate my bedroom to fit a more positive attitude. I had a lot of artwork up that I had done in dark times of my life and it was sort of bumming me out. I don’t care for the dramatics, but literally no one wants the reminder of a broken relationship or an abusive ex hanging out above their bed. Nothankyou. So I took all of the twisted (although very badass and cool) stuff down and out of sight and finished up those paper hearts I made. I wrote awesome, positive sayings on them and of course doused them with a proper amount of glitter. I have them on my wall and continue to add drawings and paintings that inspire me. It’s fun!

Overall, I’d say that this challenge was enjoyable and the benefits were immediately reap-able. It put me in a positive, loving mindset, for sure! I might even hang up my ode in my room, too. How did yours go, darling? I hope you liked this dare as much as I did. 

This week’s D & T challenge is to do something you’re afraid of. Ughh, I know. I’m getting stressed out just from writing that sentence. But you know what? At least once this week, I’m going to say “Screw stress! I don’t care, I’m going to do this, even though it scares the bejeebus out of me and I might just pee myself”. I encourage you to do the same, although it would be ideal that neither of us pee ourselves. :p I quadruple dog dare you!

Humans are programmed to be afraid; it’s in our DNA. But part of the beauty in being human is being able to conquer our fears and discover something wonderful and previously-unfathomable. It’s okay to be afraid. Everybody is/gets scared. The best of us are able to push through those panicky thoughts and accomplish the unknown anyway. I truly believe in you guys.

For me, this challenge will have a lot to do with my social anxiety. It’s going to be particularly difficult. I’m not really looking forward to it, but I swell up with determination when i think of all the happy possibilities that could happen. Like when I got on three roller-coasters, even though I had spent sixteen years of my life utterly terrified of them even existing, and discovered I actually was thrilled to go on a particular one. Yeah, I’ll never step foot on the other two; but I found one that makes me happy and excites me.

Try to think of all the great things you might discover. You never know what treasures may await you.

A little Saturday appreciation!

Hello, friends of the Interwebs! Hoping that all of you are having awesome weekends. Try to be kind to yourself and others, kay?

Today’s post is just a simple one- a gratitude list. Who doesn’t love writing things that they’re grateful for? It can make one feel so rejuvenated and refreshed; and I haven’t been writing such lists often enough for my liking. Here’s to remembering the small things that make you giggle with utter madness, make you tear up with happiness and appreciation, and that lift that beautiful soul of yours to new heights. Cheers!

I am grateful for: Acrylic paint, blank canvases, moments of silent serenity, silly (but fun!) computer games, Youtube videos from my favorite video-makers, having a fridge full of food after going grocery shopping, water, food in general, the roof over my head, my amazing support system, artsy and creative time dedicated to crafting, entertaining xojane articles (& entertaining comments there, haha. Grab some popcorn!), Glades, Netflix, cozy blankets, air conditioning, my phone, my laptop, my home, my loved ones, good books, touching music, growth and development, flowers, cushions and comfy pillows, going makeup free (which by the way I did for about a week, and since then have tried to only wear makeup for special days), feeling good about myself and the world, the Universe, my pretty little altar, cute tubby animals, & many more.

I’d like to end this post with a funny story. A friend of C’s recently bought/adopted a puppy. He is such a cutie! Only about 3 months old, this old English Bulldog’s name is Dexter! *cue the awwwwwing* He not only looks super adorable and playful, but he definitely is. Apparently he looks to chew and bite the ends of skirts and dresses if he can reach them. Sooo guess who had a cute-but-destructive baby pup hanging off the end of her skirt? Yep, this girl. Twas slobbery. I can’t decide if I am supposed to laugh or be afraid haha. It’s a little scary having a dog’s teeth so close to your bottom, you know! Sometime I’ll upload some pictures of the cutie patootie for you guys. You’ll immediately fall in love with him, I promise 🙂

What are you grateful for today? And do you have any funny events that occurred recently?

Self-Care Days (AKA: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.)

Today is one of those days. One of those days where you feel extra miserable for no apparent reason and it feels like everything is awful and out of control. Because of my mental illness, these days- which most people get sometimes- are especially hard for me to deal with. I’ve learned that a trigger for me is feeling as though I have no control over things. It sucks knowing you feel shitty and you have no real reason why. ‘Tis why Self-Care Days are suuuper important for me. As much as it can be annoying (or feel counter-productive) to take a day off from normal life, it truly is the best, healthiest way to cope with days like today. It will be good for both you and your future projects- if you are rested and revitalized, you best believe you will achieve a lot more later on!

Here’s a small example of a Self-Care Day looks like for me:

Eating comfort food (even if it’s junk and not nutritious). Lounging around for hours straight. Pretty much until I turn into a potato. Watching Greys Anatomy and Ghost Whisperer. I can’t help but love that show, my only complaint is Wife Swap not being on. I also try to reach out to my friends and remind myself of the awesome support group I have. It helps to chat with loved ones and think about someone other than yourself. Drink tooons of water; dehydration makes you even more crabby, you know! Playing silly online games with no shame. Doing something super artsy and creative. Spending time with loved ones. Making sure to pamper and take care of yourself: brush your teeth, slap on some chapstick, lotion up, and wash your face. Take a bath or shower if you’d like. Lastly, running with the “getting out of your own head” thing and focusing your remaining energy on doing something kind and loving for someone else.

After all, part of self-love is reaching out to others and spreading some of that good stuff around. ♥

What does your self-care involve? What makes you feel better when you feel down in the dumps?

“Damn, Nature. You scary!”

Hey there, dolls. Yes, I did just have a Kourtney Kardashian moment. I have no shame. Zero.

It’s one of those great, lively days where I realize how crazy and brilliant life is. A lot of times I come to this realization through viewing nature. Like today, when half an hour ago the house was suddenly engulfed in darkness. It was a super sunny, bright morning. Now however, I can hear the gentle pattering of rain on my windows and feel the vibration of thunder through the floorboards. It’s insane how quickly nature transitions! Makes me really appreciate how wondrous and powerful it is. Plus, gloomy weather like this happens to be super comforting!

Today’s post is quite short; I just wanted to share my little piece of happiness with you guys. I’m hoping you are all safe and cozy inside and feeling good about the day. Wishing you all peace and comfort right now.

In the wise words of Russell Baker, “Ah, Summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”

& the possibly even more clever Peter Griffin:

“Damn, Nature. You scary!”

:p

Second round of Dares & Tears Tuesday ;D

Happy tuesday, lovelies! How is your week starting off? Sending ya’ll good vibes and positive thoughts. So, last D & T Tuesday the challenge was to go on little adventures and find new things to do or enjoy. Here’s an update on how that went for me; feel free to use the same style format to let me know how your adventures went in the comments!

What I did: I didn’t do anything dramatically different, but I decided to create a Pinterest account to hoard awesome images and words, went to the earlier-discussed bonfire with slightly stubby legs (which is different for me), and also made sure to go with my creative impulses and craft my heart out. In last night’s case, this meant creating tons of colorful and gorgeous paper hearts to write on later! I even listened to music I hadn’t heard yet on Youtube and chose songs I normally wouldn’t listen to.

How it felt to do them: Nice. Nothing special, but it was much better than simply being bored! The only one that was uncomfortable was the stubbly legs one- I wore a dress and I don’t like the feeling of prickly hairs, haha.

Any inspiration to do something new? A little. I think I might branch out more musically and develop my taste better. I also want to make cupcakes or some sort of baked treat this week!

Not bad (: Now, onto this week’s Dares & Tears Tuesday. Today’s challenge is…

*drum roll*

*still drumming*

*Yep time for a bongo interlude*

*almost done*

*jk*

To write yourself a love song! Yes, you heard correctly- I want you to really think and meditate on yourself and write down a little song, ode, or poem dedicated to yourself. Why? Because you’re a stellar person who deserves a song to be written about them, duhh. It doesn’t have to be long or extravagant, just pour your heart into it. Really focus on what you’re saying. And keep it 100% positive! Remain honest; if you’re still struggling a lot on the journey to self-love, don’t feel stressed because you can’t make extreme statements of self-adoration. Write the best, positive statements about yourself that you can. If you have trouble, try talking to a trusted loved one and ask them what qualities/traits/quirks/features they admire most of you.

This is going to be an interesting (read: weird) challenge but I know you mega babes can do it!

Come on, I dare you.

A little lesson from the moon (AKA: Violet learned how not to be offensive)

I’m inclined to say that Friday the 13th was not as lucky for me as others, but maybe it’s just a different kind of good luck I experienced. It was early in the evening (about 8ish) and we were seated at C’s wooden table and someone mentioned something like, “Oh are you talking about your spirit animal?” in a joking tone. The first thing that comes to my mind when someone says spirit animal? Young adults who like an animal or think it’s cute and decide that they have a spiritual connection with that animal only to be trendy (spirituality is big with the New Age crowd, it seems. Which is cool, it’s just not cool to make a mockery of people that practice rituals and hold beliefs because you want to be that cool, edgy chick on Tumblr). Or the popular meme, “So-and-so is totes my spirit animal”. Like, Lorde. I would love Lorde to be my spirit animal. It’s considered an internet joke, and I have only seen people use it as such.

So I began with the first statement with, “Yeah, I think the ‘spirit animal’ thing is bullshit-” but was unable to finish the rest of my thoughts because the guy in front of me became really upset and clutching his dog tag (which I still have no idea of its significance, he just sort of threw it in my face) and said that he didn’t like me anymore. That I just dismissed his spiritual beliefs but that it was okay, he wasn’t going to bother to change my mind and opinions; all that mattered was his thoughts and my opinions were just invalid. Between his words, I apologized several times and attempted to ask him questions or explain himself but he just talked over me. When he calmed down a little, I was finally able to say “I’m sorry I offended you, can you please explain what it’s all about? I like discussion and I’d like to learn.” He explained that he was part Native American and had had a spiritual experience during a retreat with people about the wolf, and how much it meant to him. When he was done with his story, I thanked him for talking about it and apologized again for my ignorance. He thanked me for listening, then left the party for 15 or 20 minutes.

As you might be able to tell, I felt so damn awful. I felt like the shittiest human being to ever live. Me, the girl who prides herself on acceptance and kindness and respect, managed to offend someone deeply. This is also the first time I have ever offended someone. I remained quiet for the rest of the night and ended up leaving a couple hours early because I felt so miserable. So, yeah- my lucky Esbat ended up being really crappy, and seemingly unlucky.

But maybe it was a super lucky day.

1. I learned how to practice humility and apologize when I know I did something wrong. I also thank the Universe that I was able to admit ignorance and invite conversation about the other person’s beliefs. It REALLY sucks to admit you were wrong and don’t know as much as you had thought, but I was able to swallow my pride and own up in front of my peers.

2. It was a reminder to be very very careful with my word choice. It makes sense; as a writer, I’m going to have to be so precise because my words will literally determine my job. Even though I did not intend to offend the dude or even make that statement, I did and it was sloppy and not well thought out. Words can make a world of difference, and now I have a (painfully) fresh reminder of it.

3. That incident was a big test of my love for myself. As I have mentioned before, I used to self-harm. Part of that self-harm was denying myself food on occasions because I believed I wasn’t worth it/needed to be punished/etc. Two or three years ago you can bet that had a similar situation occured, I wouldn’t have eaten for the rest of the night (even though I was seriously hungry because I hadn’t eaten since 4pm). I would have considered myself inferior to everyone else- a stupid burden- and denied the nutrition my body needed to grow healthy and strong. It’s scary thinking about it now that I haven’t self-injured in so long. At first I didn’t eat anything because I did feel so badly about myself and my worth. But I took myself out of the situation via my mom driving me home, cried a little, and thought really hard and deeply about what happened, how I was feeling, and what I was going to do about it. I still felt horrid, but I decided I was going to eat. I had some extremely delicious bread rolls and slices of my favorite deli cheese. I drank a glass of water, took my pills, and went to sleep. I decided that even though I made a mistake and hurt someone’s feelings, hurting myself will never be the answer and I am a person and infinitely worthy of love and care just like everyone else. I am imperfect and human, and that is okay. I will learn from my mistakes and keep on being me. I think this action demonstrates how much I truly love myself; that I refuse to harm the vessel I live in because I am upset and feel insecure. I’m proud of me. *pats myself on the back*

and lastly, 4. Dude was kind of rude about it. I, of course, was in the wrong. My statement was not only unkind but incorrect in a lot of ways. I was offensive (regardless of intent) and deserved to apologize and listen to his beliefs and thoughts. However, I think he was being a bit immature and disrespectful by automatically jumping to “I don’t like you, I don’t like you anymore” and “your opinions are invalid”, instead of hearing me out and letting me say sorry. Throwing your dog tag in my face is also not going to help you seem more intelligent. No one’s opinions are invalid- just because someone doesn’t hold the same spiritual or moral beliefs that I do doesn’t mean that they don’t matter as a person. I have dealt with people saying similar offensive statements about me learning about Pagan traditions and whatnot and I never said anything to invalidate them and their personal beliefs. I have asked them why they felt that way, tried to open up a discussion, or simply asked to change the subject because I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. The bottom line was that I was rude and a bit of a jerk. However, the guy’s reaction was- in my opinion, of course- unnecessary and childish.

But anyway, I messed up and owned up to it. I learned the person’s perspective. I guess that’s about all I can do about it now. Best believe I’ll be making sure my words are crazily precise before they come out of my mouth.

Preparations for the upcoming Esbat!!!

Squeeeee! As you can tell by the multiple explanation points in this post’s title, I am WAY stoked for the closest Esbat. I haven’t celebrated one in soooo long- I know, shame on me- and I’m even more because this Esbat falls upon a super lucky day:

Friday the thirteenth!

I know, I know. Lucky? More like most-likely-to-be-killed-by-a-serial-killer unlucky! It might surprise you to know that not all (or that many) cultures consider thirteen an unlucky number. Every culture has its own set of things deemed lucky/unlucky. For example, while buildings in the U.S might skip a thirteenth floor (though only through numbering), while in China buildings are more likely to skip the fourth floor because the Chinese word for four sounds very similar to their word for death. I used to be terrified of the number thirteen because of all the Western media that condemns it with horror movie themes and unlucky events that appear on the news. However, I dove into the history of thirteen and discovered that the number actually used to be considered very lucky. According to some, it was a number greatly connected to the Moon, lunar calendar, and femininity; huge parts of Wicca. So the fact that the most lunar-associated number, that ALSO corresponds with femininity, landing on a Friday (which is considered as a day connected to Venus/Freya/other Goddesses of the same nature) AND having a full moon?! if that’s not a hella positive and amazingly powerful sign from the universe, I don’t know what is.

If you want to learn more about the histories of Friday the thirteenth or why certain numbers are regarded as bad/good omens I seriously encourage you to read up on it. It’s such an interesting thing to explore!

So you know I am taking full advantage of this Esbat. Since I’ve already written a long intro, here is a simple list of things I’m going to do in preparation for this Friday:

1. Draw a relaxing bath before my shower, taking the time to put on a face and/or hair mask on, and think good thoughts.

2. Decorate my altar to correspond with the Esbat (i.e: symbols of love, romance, femininity, thirteen, positive changes, the moon, etc.).

3. Bake something with good, positive intent to make people smile, happy, and feel comforted; I have a bonfire to go to so I’ll be making Oreo muffins. Yum!

4. Wear an outfit that makes me with fabulous and that embraces my femininity. For me, that means flattery and comfy clothes, clean nails, shimmering makeup, and loooots of pastels. Yep, not a day for my badass purple lipstick haha.

5. Do a kind deed for Mother Earth: for example, a nature walk with a loved one where you pick up litter to dispose of, pruning and taking care of your garden/flowers, leaving excess animal-safe foods out for the little critters, putting up a birdfeeder/butterfly bath, trying to use as little electricity and gas as possible, etc, There’s an infinite amount of lovely things you can do for the environment!

6. Do something equally as loving for my marvelous human buddies! Write a random letter expressing your care for that person, leave sweet notes in public places, draw a picture for your little sister- once again, the possibilities are endless. 

7. Give thanks to the Universe for the privilege, food, shelter, love, opportunities, kindness, and health that I have in my life. I’ll probably make a gigantic gratitude list. 

8. Have a small offering to the Goddess(es)/Universe for being so darn wonderful and cool and for giving me life. I don’t do the typical cakes-and-mead thing normal Wiccans do. Instead, I like to fill a small, porcelain teacup with a little bit of milk, honey, and a small sugary treat and place it on my altar overnight. In the morning, I toss the food out the window and clean the cup for continued use.

9. Be extra aware of how I speak to, approach, and treat other living things- hopefully with love, kindness, and respect.

10. Read to my heart’s content, because I love myself and I love to read!

11. Spend time outside and outdoors.

12. Write down my current goals, hang ’em up, and focus on them. Full moons are a great time to focus on positive change and new things.

13. Celebrate! Woo!

Hey, thirteen also happens to be MY lucky number 😉

Dares & Tears Tuesdays!

Good afternoon, magnificent people of the Interwebs! Considering it’s a gloriously gloomy, cool day- June, you are hella weird this year but I appreciate your breezes!- I figured it was an awesome opportunity to begin a weekly thing for Scars & Sparkles. Tuesdays here in the Blogiverse shall now be dubbed Dares & Tears (like the action of tearing/ripping something) Tuesdays! Wooooo! *celebratory confetti and a kitten with a party hat*

Dares & Tears Tuesdays will be a day of each week dedicated to healthy and inspiring challenges, along with a follow-up on the previous week’s dare. I totally welcome any discussion concerning the challenges; how they went, if you made your own adjustments, what was hardest/easiest for you to do. I would also appreciate any suggestions for future dares. You guys are smart babes with sharp minds, your input is always appreciated. 🙂 And of course, I’ll be doing these challenges along with ya’ll! I find it to be way easier to start up healthy habits or drop bad ones if I have a supportive friend or family member doing them along with me. You might be surprised by the amount of motivation that can result from a little friendly encouragement.

This very first Dares & Tears Tuesday is about adventure. No, not a crazy road trip or a magical journey through a Tolkien-esque land- I’m talking about the little adventures in life. Even something as small as learning how to take care of a plant or wandering into a craft store to find the perfect coral acrylic paint can become adventures if your heart and mind are in the right place. Even if you end up completely loathing what you tried to do, the important thing is that you were a badass and tried something you’ve never done before; you’ve gone on a trip to self-discovery and found something you didn’t like. Hey, now you’ll never have to wonder if you would be happier if you took a cooking class! Knowledge is power and fearlessness is doing tons of new things (that don’t have to be huge or directly life-changing) so that you won’t be afraid of what your life would be like drowned in small regrets.

I triple dog dare you to go on as many tiny adventures as you possibly can- at least, until next Tuesday! Delve into the world truly aware and go out on a journey to find yourself another hobby or try something you’ve thought about doing but never actually started. Keep track of what you do and how it feels, and we can share our experiences next week. I promise I’ll keep you posted 😉

Talk with you later, darlings. I’m off to try new things!