Fourth round of Dares & Tears Tuesday & Post-Pride feelings

Hey, chums! How has the beginning of your week been? Has anything exciting, different, or simply pleasant happened to you? I’m truly hoping all of you internet dudes and dudettes are healthy, happy, and safe this awesome summer day. As Pride month came to a close yesterday, I was attempting to recover from the Chicago Pride Parade. It’s safe to say that Sunday SERIOUSLY tested my patience and emotional strength; it was a horrible, tear-filled day. To be honest I’m not in tip top shape yet so I don’t feel well enough to explain the entirety of that sucky situation, but I still want to share my life with you lovely strangers so I composed a sort of Pro versus Con list. Here are the basics of the day that officially makes me shudder:

Shitty things that occurred: I accidentally put nearly all my money on a train pass that only required $5. No one had planned much ahead so we were all sort of guessing where to get off from the train. The group eventually separated into two smaller groups because of a disagreement over directions. I led my J and his good friend to the very oh-so-wrong path; same street, TWO HOURS OF WALKING IN DIFFERENCE THOUGH. I THOUGHT IT WOULD NEVER END. So yeah, two hours of walking in Boystown in crazy heat. On this horrible trek I managed to slam/stub my toe onto a rock of fucking concrete and my toenail almost came all the way off- J patted me on the back and helped me get my bandaids on while I cried, fumbling around with Neosporin and desparately pushing the nail back onto the bloody pulp my toe had become, while his friend sort of watched with horror. Because of the two hour walk we. missed. the. fucking. parade. All of it. I was exhausted, starving, and dehydrated. I had four dollars to my name, because I had deemed it too risky to bring my cards so I only had cash. I was PMSing like a mofo so on top of feeling terrible I also felt incredibly jealous as an attractive, drunk-ass chick friend of J’s was touchy-feely with him when she finally met us and basically dragged him everywhere. I wanted to slice open her neck. Really, really bad day.

However, at least there were a few gems in there.

Good/Positive experiences of the day: I came super prepared minus the money part (chapstick, gum, my phone, Neosporin, bandaids, pretzels as a snack, water bottle, sunglasses, etc.). I looked- dare i say it?- incredible! When I learn how to Internet and upload pictures, I shall post some. I did my makeup Steam Punk-style, with actual metal gears and all. I looked like a total babe and I received a few compliments that made me smile. I didn’t get sunburnt because I used sunscreen, woo. two words- shirtless hotties. And also, super attractive girls. Seeing a friend for .573 seconds. My nails that look like pretty cakes with vanilla frosting and sprinkles. I tried Gellato for the first time (ahmasiiiing). No one pinched my butt. I wasn’t one of the many people who passed out. The train ride back was comfortable. J looked after me and tried to help cheer me up. I had pizza and chocolate later that day. Yaaasss.

Now, for the fourth D & T Tuesday! Grab your party hat and give yourself a high-five for being incredible and getting through that challenge! ♥ Here is a recap of how I approached the dare~

What I did: Went back to the library to check up on my application (which terrified me), surviving all of the horror for me which was Chicago pride (trusting my gut but still being wrong and leading two people astray by accident), and in general wearing a slightly-revealing outfit in Chicago, even though my body image isn’t super fabulous yet.

How it felt doing it: In general, scary, anxiety-ridden, and fearful. It sucked, but I’m proud of myself for accomplishing what I did and learning a couple lessons as a result.

Am I inspired to do something similar? I can’t give this one an honest yes. I don’t really know how to feel about it yet (fear is a huge obstacle for me) and I think I’m still processing it and weighing the possible consequences.

Pamper yourself a little today for facing a fear of yours, no matter how small. You did good, buddy 🙂

Now, this week’s challenge is particularly interesting to me. I triple-dog-dare ya’ll to Participate in Gala Darling’s July Instagram challenge for an entire week. Yep. You don’t need an Instragam for this- I personally don’t have an account- and can do this as privately as you’d like! Here’s a link to her blog post about it: http://galadarling.com/article/radicalselflovejuly-an-instagram-challenge/.

Basically, I dare you guys to take a picture corresponding to the appropriate day’s theme and keep them somewhere; perhaps a photo album, your RSL bible, or a scrapbook? The possibilities are endless! I strongly encourage you guys to do the entire month, but at the very least I dare you to do her prompts starting today and ending on next Tuesday. I, of course, will be doing them right along with you!

Are you as thrilled/intrigued about this challenge as I am? How did facing your fears go last week?

♥ ♥ With much love, silliness, and comfort being sent your way. ♥ ♥

Belated Dares & Tears Tuesday

Good morning, fellow rays of sunshine! I feel like the stereotypical portrayal of a Hippie, but I have zero- none, zip, zilch!- shits to give. I will be positive today, so I am positive today; even if it sickens the cynic in me, haha. Negative-Me has been thrown out of the door where she can vacation and watch OITNB or something. Are we going to talk about Orange is The New Black?? Have any of ya’ll seen it? What season are you on? I am constantly surrounded by buddies who rave about it at least once a day. I tried it out (It’s a new thing, ‘kay? It counts as an adventure!) and am two episodes into the first season, but I have to say it’s a slow start. I’m going to at least ten. I’m really hoping it’ll redeem itself, I love ridiculous T.V. shows.

Anywaaay, ahem, yay for you guys surviving the second D & T challenge! Woooo! Get on your party hat and treat yourself, girlie. Here is a recap of how I managed the dare~

What I did: Wrote a little tune describing all that is the glorious Me, haha. I decided to make an ode to myself.

How it felt doing it: Let me assure you, it was definitely awkward to do at first (and a little throughout the whole thing). Yet despite the uncomfortable feelings of self-obsession and unworthiness, I encouraged the tiny Narcissist in me to come out and breathe some fresh air for a little. And you know what? It felt good. It felt great to feel worthy enough to have a song written about me, even if i wrote it myself. It felt incredible to recognize my beauty and amazing to remember my accomplishments.

Am I inspired to do something similar again? Hell to the yaasss (shout-out to Bunny Meyers ❤ !). I decided to redecorate my bedroom to fit a more positive attitude. I had a lot of artwork up that I had done in dark times of my life and it was sort of bumming me out. I don’t care for the dramatics, but literally no one wants the reminder of a broken relationship or an abusive ex hanging out above their bed. Nothankyou. So I took all of the twisted (although very badass and cool) stuff down and out of sight and finished up those paper hearts I made. I wrote awesome, positive sayings on them and of course doused them with a proper amount of glitter. I have them on my wall and continue to add drawings and paintings that inspire me. It’s fun!

Overall, I’d say that this challenge was enjoyable and the benefits were immediately reap-able. It put me in a positive, loving mindset, for sure! I might even hang up my ode in my room, too. How did yours go, darling? I hope you liked this dare as much as I did. 

This week’s D & T challenge is to do something you’re afraid of. Ughh, I know. I’m getting stressed out just from writing that sentence. But you know what? At least once this week, I’m going to say “Screw stress! I don’t care, I’m going to do this, even though it scares the bejeebus out of me and I might just pee myself”. I encourage you to do the same, although it would be ideal that neither of us pee ourselves. :p I quadruple dog dare you!

Humans are programmed to be afraid; it’s in our DNA. But part of the beauty in being human is being able to conquer our fears and discover something wonderful and previously-unfathomable. It’s okay to be afraid. Everybody is/gets scared. The best of us are able to push through those panicky thoughts and accomplish the unknown anyway. I truly believe in you guys.

For me, this challenge will have a lot to do with my social anxiety. It’s going to be particularly difficult. I’m not really looking forward to it, but I swell up with determination when i think of all the happy possibilities that could happen. Like when I got on three roller-coasters, even though I had spent sixteen years of my life utterly terrified of them even existing, and discovered I actually was thrilled to go on a particular one. Yeah, I’ll never step foot on the other two; but I found one that makes me happy and excites me.

Try to think of all the great things you might discover. You never know what treasures may await you.