Being your fabulous self & rocking it.

I think there’s been quite a bit of confusion regarding self-esteem (and women’s self-esteem in particular). As someone working to empower both herself and others, it can be challenging to balance love for your physical self and love for your inner-self. As women in this society we are taught from an early age to be pretty little things- we are told we are by nature something of great physical beauty, pretty aesthetic, and we must forever strive to be youthful and beautiful. On the other hand, I’ve noticed a decent portion of Third Wave Feminists insisting that any focus- no matter how small or rare- dedicated to admiring and accepting one’s appearance is purely selfish vanity and something to be avoided entirely. That we as women have so long faced the beauty standards imposed upon us, demanding we fit the attractive ideal of our societies; that we should be ashamed of ourselves for even regarding ourselves as “pretty” because being “pretty” is such a shallow concept.

As someone trying hard every day to love herself and teach others to love themselves, it’s hard for me to strike the perfect balance between these two conflicting theories. I don’t take what I do lightly. How dare I insinuate that you are beloved partially because you’re conventionally attractive? But I believe it’s just as important to question how I dare demand you not find your physique beautiful.

Newsflash~ It is 100% okay and acceptable and even GOOD to like how you look.

Let me repeat that.

IT IS GOOD AND OKAY TO THINK THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE ON THE OUTSIDE. IT IS OKAY TO BELIEVE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND ROCKING THAT NICE ASS.

There is nothing wrong with loving your physical self. You are not vain, or shallow, or doing a disservice to women everywhere- you are being a badass bitch full of love, compassion, and confidence. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

And while we’re speaking of screwing anyone trying to restrict you, You are NOT your body.

You are not limited to outer-beauty. You are a tangle of beautiful characteristics and inner-qualities and your beauty cannot and will not ever be measured by your weight, shape, height, skin tone, the color of your eyes, the waves/kink/straightness of your hair! You are not just a pretty thing.

You are NOT just a pretty thing.

You are so, so much more than that.

So while loving your appearance is very vital to your self-love journey, remember that you are also a stunning creature on the inside. Your every pore seeps beauty. However, you are also beautiful because of the way you snort when you laugh, and that quirky thing you do with your hands while speaking, and the love and empathy you show for other beings.

Your beauty is unlimited. So should your self-love be.

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Anxiety tips + Rape culture rant + how to truly love yourself= one hella long post

Before I be all positive and awesome, I want to take a second, get my feminist on, and ask the universe something: Why the hell do we contribute so much to Rape Culture?! This always blows my fucking mind. How many times has a rape victim come forward and been bombarded with criticism on how much she drank or how much skin she was showing? On how she shouldn’t have been out alone anyway? Why on fucking earth do public high schools put so much damn effort into punishing young women who wear shirts or tank tops (and aren’t showing ANYTHING inappropriate) because god forbid my shoulders or thighs give a boy in puberty an erection, instead of calling out the guys who call girls sluts/whores and teaching young men to not treat them as sexualized objects to be conquered? If it is 80-90 degrees freaking Fahrenheit, WE ARE GOING TO WEAR SHORTS AND TANK TOPS.  Stop trying to teach us to be ashamed of our beautiful, sacred temples! We are not here for your sexual desires; nor do we exist to be attractive to you. We do not give you “impure thoughts”, you are having them of your own accord. And fuck you for thinking being female means that you’re only good for sex and baby-making. I personally respect men enough to expect them to be intelligent beings who can understand “no” as “no” and fucking control their sexual impulses. Seriously.

Okay, end of rant (see what you’ve done to me, news?). Bah. Now I’m physically smiling wide -it lowers blood pressure- and am ready to approach the day less cynically.

As someone who has dealt with Anxiety Disorder literally all of my life, I understand that this society is not Anxiety-friendly. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard people dismiss it simply as nervousness, said it doesn’t exist (really?), or that it’s just a teenaged-white-first-world-girl problem. This society does not cater to those who suffer from this, along with other mental illnesses. So believe me when I say that I understand it’s hard and that “It’s going to be okay” or “just calm down” aren’t sufficient. Here are some of the tips and techniques I’ve amassed over the past few years. i hope they help you out.

1. Controlled breathing~ An easy breathing exercise is inhaling deeply for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 4 seconds, and then release slowly for 8 seconds. Deep breathing really really helps with preventing/disarming panic attacks. When you feel yourself slipping, try this.

2. Positive affirmations~ I am beautiful. I am strong. I have overcome this before, and I will overcome it again. This is only temporary. My life is beautiful, even if I can’t see that right now. I am not alone. I am never alone.

3. Happy distractions~ Sometimes the only thing that really helps to calm me down is to distract myself with little things that make me happy. Watch your favorite youtube videos/movie/tv series or read your favorite book/blog. Write in a journal with your favorite color of ink, listen to cheerful music, light some incense, doodle, or go for a walk. Surround yourself with some of your favorite things so you are distracted and you can slowly pull out of your anxiety attack.

4. Reach out for others~ When I’m going through a bad bout of Anxiety I feel very alone and isolated from everyone else. My brain knows I have loved ones who I can reach out to for comfort and help, but at the same time I am convinced that no one can help me and I’m doomed to suffer all by myself. Surround yourself with love and comfort from others- call up a good friend and talk with them, ask your mom or dad to stay up with you a little late so that you can calm down (my amazing mother thankfully understands this and always helps me out!), cuddle with a furry friend, or ask a loved one to pick you up and spend time with them. It’s so much easier to get through things when you have support and caring on by your side.

Lastly, I found one of the best pages on Tumblr in the galaxy and one post in particular stood out to me. It was talking about how recovery isn’t a race and that if today you just can’t love and fully accept yourself, put your effort into not hating yourself. Self-love is a hard, long journey; we can’t always place a smile on our face and say in full honesty that we love ourselves just the way we are. However, we can always and forever avoid hating ourselves. Your body loves you so damn much, it tries to fight off illnesses for you. It has fat to insulate and protect your internal organs. It lets you sense the world around you and find pleasure with those senses, and it does it’s best to heal, even when you have harmed it. That is powerful. Your body loves you and the least you can do is not hate it.

PS: the blog I referenced is this one: http://ed-free-maggie.tumblr.com/. This person is incredible and has the most beautiful soul.

It’s way too early but screw it, I’m going to be positive anyway!

Good (ridiculously early) morning, darlings. I have zero ideas on how the hell I am awake at this point and why on earth my body decided to rouse me from my awesomely weird dreams at THREE IN THE GOD DAMN MORNING! *flails around in a sleepy rage* But you know what, I’m going to roll with this. People say “the early bird gets the worm”, right?

…Right?

Oh gosh, I need to pull myself together and think like a person. I apologize if this post is a little fuzzy, I’m inspired to post but at the same time, my brain is not yet fully functioning.

Onto the topic for today: ounces of happiness with a cup of positivity. (Cheesiest shit I’ve ever written. I need sleep). On this bright, sunny morning, pour yourself your favorite pick-me-up beverage and take a deep breath. Look at this sentence:

It’s going to be a GREAT, freaking majestic day. 🙂

And if you’re lacking some motivation at the moment, I pulled together some amazing quotes from equally amazing people to inspire the slippers off of you!

“Make the decision to talk about your blessings more than your problems. Whatever you focus on expands.”- http://www.myrenewedmind.org

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.”- Mary Lou Retton

“The future belongs to the people who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

“This day will never happen again.”- Merton

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”- C.S Lewis (ooooh can we talk about how magical he is?!)

“Pessimists never go on a voyage of discovery, equally so they never leave the shoreline in search of new horizons.”- Stephen Richards

“Be so positively positive that the devil issues a memo directing his minions to avoid you at all costs.”- Dodinksy

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”- Roald Dahl (♥ my personal favorite)

& lastly, Zooey Deschannel (marry me please!) with this quote for all the badass women out there, including myself, that are strong without hiding their vulnerabilities:

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all- look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.” 

The birds are a’chirping and the sunshine is calling me to the world of the functioning. What is your go-to quote for mad inspiration and motivation? Is your favorite in this list? What are you inspired to do today?